There Is More To Sweden Than Meets The Eye… Different Countries-Different Customs

(Sweden by Design, Summer 2002)

How many times have you been to another country and found that the service did not measure up to your standards? Well, you are not alone. Most people, who have traveled internationally, have had such an experience. In the U.S. a pleasant demeanor including a smile and prompt service is expected. When these expectations are not met, it is easy to make a negative judgment. We usually don't consider that good service can look different from someone else's perspective.

Sweden has been called the most Americanized country in Europe, and many Swedes believe that they "know all about" the United States. After all, many grew up with CNN, American TV shows, movies and music¾and of course¾Mc Donald's and Pizza Hut. And many Americans, after encountering one Swede after the other who speaks excellent English, often assume that the Swedes are just like Americans! Consequently, both Swedes and Americans are likely to believe that they have similar expectations. But, as you will see, assumptions can be deceiving and being able to communicate in the same language does not guarantee understanding.

If we look at what is expected in a restaurant in the U.S., it would probably look something like this. You are seated quickly by a smiling waiter/waitress, who brings you ice water and bread and takes your order. After serving your food, the wait person will be back several times to see if you need anything or if you would like some coffee or dessert. Frequently the bill is placed on your table before you ask for it. You, the customer, have been given received personal attention throughout the meal and the service has been quick and efficient. You finish your meal and can go on to other activities. After all, Americans are busy people and there is much to be done.

I recently dined with a group of Swedes in a U.S. restaurant and we experienced almost exactly the scenario described above. Everybody should have been happy, right? Well, not quite.

The Swedes soon commented on the frequent visits by the waitress. "Why can't she leave us alone?" they asked. "It is so disturbing to have her come by all the time." When the check was placed on the table before we asked for it, they were getting quite annoyed. "Are they trying to get us to leave?" they asked. They felt like their privacy was being disturbed by the constant attention, and they also felt like they were expected to leave before they were ready.

What happened? While Americans, often in a rush to do other things, like quick and personal attention¾feeling like they are getting special treatment¾the Swedes tend to prefer less attention, i.e. fewer interruptions. In addition, because Swedes do not eat out as frequently as Americans, a restaurant meal is often a special event, not something you do in a rush on the way to do something else. Although not quite the lengthy affair, a meal so often is in France and other southern European countries, The Swedes enjoy taking their time sharing a good meal and interesting conversation. In other words, very prompt service may not be as important as knowing that you can stay at your table as long as you like.

As an intercultural consultant and trainer, I have worked with a variety of groups in the hospitality industry, both in Sweden and the U.S. It is rewarding to see that there is such a desire to learn what the international visitors expect in order to provide the best possible service. So on your next trip to Sweden, it is quite possible that the person serving you will rush to take care of you with a big smile. But if this doesn't happen, just take it in stride. After all, the differences make international travel exciting. Instead of becoming upset when things don't work exactly the same way as at home, try to understand why.